“We were thinking that we would ask our guests to suggest a couple of songs each on the RSVP, is that helpful to you?”
This question comes up pretty frequently, and the practice of asking wedding guests to suggest songs they would like to hear at the party, months in advance, via the invitation reply is a trend that doesn't look to be going away anytime soon.
On the face it it sounds like a great idea that should guarantee everyone will get to hear something they like and ensure that whatever song is playing at least someone there loves it, right?
To be honest my heart always sinks a little when I hear that the invites have gone out with the request for suggestions, because I already know what's coming...
A lot of the suggestions will be baaaaad. That is to say a good number of them will be likely be completely inappropriate, too obscure to feel inclusive for everyone, or totally contrary to the specific instructions that the happy couple have given me regarding the music. I can't tell you how many times 'The Macarena', 'Come on Eileen' or 'YMCA' have appeared on these guest request lists, whilst I've simultaneously been given strict instructions not to play anything cheesy. It instantly puts me in a bind that someone might be expecting something that I've already been asked not to play.
Furthermore, I'll have no idea who actually requested which song so won't know if that person is even in the room when I play it.
When a guest puts down a song request before the party, there might well be an expectation that that song will be played at some point, as if I am working my way down a preplanned list of tracks on a speadsheet, and they are waiting patiently for their turn. I'm not gonna lie, it's a tiny bit heartbreaking to see someone who has been hanging out at the back of the room all evening come wondering over at around 10:15pm and say "Excuse me, are you going to play 'Uptown Girl' soon, only our taxi is on its way and we're leaving in 10 minutes?" Invariably this will happen just as a full dance floor is twerking away to Nicky Minaj or headbanging to "Killing In The Name Of", and I simply have no choice but to disappoint them.
Ultimately long song request lists will likely end up stifling a DJ's creativity and ability to simply read the room. Song requests on the night are great, in that you know who's made them, and a plan can be made to work them to the set if possible. If it's a inappropriate request then I can often suggest alternatives or at least handle them in a polite manner to avoid disappointment.
