The Offbeat Blog
Random Posts Containing Some (Hopefully) Useful Tidbits...
2024
March - Why playing the classics early on usually makes for a better party all night
June - We were thinking that we would ask our guests to suggest a couple of songs each on the RSVP, is that helpful to you?
December - A personal plea regarding foam l.e.d wands...
2025
April - Let’s talk about dance floor expectations
March 2024
Why playing the classics early on usually makes for a better party all night
Since I’ve put up the ‘Classic Motown, Funk, Disco and 80's Pop’ recording, a few couples have said something along the lines of:
“We really don’t think that we want this kind of music at our wedding. It’s not something that we listen to ourselves or feel reflects our own tastes.”
Yep, I completely understand. Pretty much everything in this mix could be said to be played out, and, whilst not exactly cheesy, certainly can’t be described as anything other than very mainstream. It is, in fact, pretty much the most mainstream selection of pre-1990 chart music that you could compile. All totally familiar to anyone who hasn’t been living under a rock, and all chart topping in their time.
And that is exactly why you should use them to kick start your party.
At any given wedding there will likely be attendees of all different ages, all with different tastes, many of which will be expecting lots of easily recognisable music they can dance and sing along to. Everything in this mix was included because it is just that: easy to move to (especially after a few drinks!) and everyone knows all the words to belt out.
By dedicating the first part of the evening set to this kind of mainstream, highly inclusive music, nobody at your wedding party will feel left out because they ‘just don’t know or can’t dance to the newer or more alternative stuff’. The classics are classics for a reason, and if they’re not being played then you can almost guarantee that at least one guest is going to come up and request them (usually asked as “Please can you play something that we oldies know?” Or even just straight up “When are you going to play some ABBA?”)
As a DJ, the last thing I want is for this question to come at a time when that part of the evening has passed and everyone has moved onto the more alternative or electronic types of music, as it’s so jarring to the atmosphere to take a dance floor out of that moment and slam it back to the 70’s disco, or Motown, just because a small group of people felt that they didn’t get the chance to dance to that early on. It’s genuinely horrible to have to deny that person their request and leave them feeling confused and frustrated that at no point was the music for them.
This part of the evening set doesn’t have to go on for long, I’ll keep playing those hits for as long as the dance floor stays busy, but there’s inevitably a time, sooner or later, when the older classics start to lose momentum. It could be after 20 minutes, it could be two hours, but once that part of the night is over, it shouldn’t need to be revisited and the rest of the set, that does reflect your tastes, can be played uninterrupted.
Of course, it's your party and you get to ultimately decide what music gets played and what doesn't, but there's no doubt that the best parties are the ones where everyone gets to have fun on the dancefloor.
June 2024
We were thinking that we would ask our guests to each suggest a couple of song requests on the RSVP, is that helpful to you?
This question comes up pretty frequently, and the practice of asking wedding guests to suggest songs they would like to hear at the party, months in advance, via the invitation reply, is a trend that doesn't look to be going away anytime soon.
On the face it it sounds like a great idea that should guarantee everyone will get to hear something they like and ensure that whatever song is playing at least someone there loves it, right?
To be honest my heart always sinks a little when I hear that the invites have gone out with the request for suggestions, because I already know what's coming...
A lot of the suggestions will be baaaaad. That is to say a good number of them will likely be completely inappropriate, too obscure to feel inclusive, or totally contrary to the specific instructions that the happy couple have given me regarding the music. I can't tell you how many times 'The Macarena', 'Come on Eileen' or 'YMCA' have appeared on these guest request lists, whilst I've simultaneously been given strict instructions not to play anything cheesy. It instantly puts me in a bind that someone might be expecting something that I've already been asked not to play. Furthermore, I'll have no idea who actually requested which song so won't know if that person is even in the room when I play it.
When a guest puts down a song request before the party, there might well be an expectation that that song will be played at some point, as if I am working my way down a preplanned list of tracks on a speadsheet, and they are waiting patiently for their turn. I'm not gonna lie, it's a tiny bit heartbreaking to see someone who has been hanging out at the back of the room all evening come wondering over at around 10:15pm and say "Excuse me, are you going to play 'Uptown Girl' soon, only our taxi is on its way and we're leaving in 10 minutes?" Invariably this will happen just as a full dancefloor is twerking away to Nicky Minaj or headbanging to "Killing In The Name Of", and I simply have no choice but to disappoint them.
Ultimately long song request lists will likely end up stifling a DJ's creativity and ability to simply read the room. Song requests on the night are great, in that you know who's made them, and a plan can be made to work them to the set if possible. If it's a inapproiate request then I can often suggest alternatives or at least handle them in a polite manner to avoid disappointment.
December 2024
a personal plea regarding foam l.e.d wands...
In the last year or so, there's a been a growing trend for foam L.E.D wands (frequently marketed on social media), and sadly, almost every time I see them used (now at around half of the weddings I perform at) I see them crammed into bin liners ready for landfill at the end of the night (often well over a hundred at a time).
Please be aware that these wands are manufactured and shipped over from China, can't be recycled easily and contain plastic foam, L.E.Ds, wires, a microchip and lithium batteries (often three of them in each one).
I promise you that they will not be the difference between your guests dancing or not, nor will they enhance the style of your event (personal opinion, they're actually pretty tacky).
Paying attention to the ecological footprint of your wedding is something that we should all be doing in this day and age. Party favours are a great touch but please ask yourself if what you're giving away is really worth it. Anything that is likely to be single use probably isn't.
Thanks. 😃
April 2025
Let’s talk about dance floor expectations
"It’s half past nine and our dance floor isn't nearly as full as we had wanted! Is it just not that kind of party? Why isn’t everyone having the time of their lives! All the videos I’ve seen on Instagram and TikTok show packed out rooms with hands in the air, why isn’t ours like that?!"
Brides and Grooms Everywhere, Frequently
Social media videos might appear to have promised you a completely manic party scene of people dancing on the tables and throwing down hard all night, so what do you do when the dance floor has been open for a while, but it's just not filling up as you had expected?
Ok, let’s be realistic. The dance floor is going to be open for typically 4-6 hours, and it’s simply not going to be crammed for every last minute. Just because it’s gone nine o'clock and it's still pretty thin on dancers, doesn’t mean it’s time to panic. Those social media videos you’ve seen are snippets of peak dancing, usually taken after 11pm, when everyone is fully lubricated and the big anthems are being smashed out. But even so, you might well be disappointed that there isn’t a bit of a buzz going on when you likely had big expectations for a full blown party in progress by this time.
There’s a few things that need to be considered before you resign yourself to a low-key party you might not have wanted:
Firstly, and perhaps most importantly, although the dance floor might not be popping off, your guests might be having a wonderful time anyway! Music doesn’t have to be danced to to be enjoyed. Often a great selection of tunes can simply be the soundtrack to everyone having fun chatting, drinking or exploring and enjoying the rest of the venue. Perhaps it’s a glorious evening and everyone is enjoying the garden and/or sunset. This is particularly true in the summer months when it can stay light until 10pm. No matter how good your band or DJ is, it’s hard for them to compete with a stunning sunset in a beautiful setting, especially when your guests have spent so much time sat down indoors at the wedding breakfast not long before. Have no doubt, once it starts getting dark, your guests will come inside and likely hit the dance floor hard.
It is also worth reminding yourself that the dancing will naturally ebb and flow through the evening, and that is completely normal. Natural breaks in dancing can occur for lots of reasons, including older guests getting tired and calling it a night (this is very typical after the first hour when the Motown, disco and 80’s pop has evolved into more contemporary music less familiar to older guests). Furthermore, food is likely served around 8:30-9pm, when your hungry guests will flock to the buffet to stock up on wood fired pizza, pasties, or whatever delicious food you might be serving. This can often lead to around 40 minutes of a quieter dance floor before people filter back in, fed and ready for round two. Certain guests saying good-bye can also pull people away from the disco, as can scheduled activities such as fireworks.
Another very significant factor is where your bar is located in relation to your dance floor. The bar is a natural focus point to congregate at wedding receptions, and your guests will very likely get caught up there chatting away, with a drink in their hand, for hours on end, particularly if they can’t hear or see the dance floor. It’s a bit of a DJ nightmare to arrive at a venue to discover that the bar is in a completely different area to the dancing. The DJ has to stay behind the decks choosing the music, and being unsighted means they don’t have that opportunity to read the room and see what is making your guests tap their feet and inspire them into dancing. There is, however, a tried and tested remedy for this situation, and that is that you, the newly weds, pull people out of their conversations, and drag them to the dance floor. You guys will never be left hanging by yourselves on the dance floor by your friends and family, so persuade them to follow you and join you on the dance floor. Perhaps have a certified banger up your sleeve that you know will get your friends moving, a special request to tell your DJ when you come in. I’ve seen it a thousand times. You are your own most powerful resource to instigate the party.
The day of the week the party is held on can have a significant effect on how people behave and decide to enjoy themselves. Week day weddings can be enormous fun and don’t necessarily mean the dancing can’t keep going til the end, but definitely be aware that mid-week weddings will mean that many guests might have work the next day and simply can’t cut loose like they might on a weekend.
In any event, the amount of time your guests spend dancing is not, and will never be, the ultimate measure of whether your reception was a success, or whether your guests had fun or not. Having a full dance floor at the end of the night is undoubtedly a special thing, but it is far from the most special thing about the day. Celebrating comes in many happy forms, from catching up with seldom seen family, making new friends or strengthening ties with old ones. And if the dance floor was empty all night, then maybe your guests were simply having too much fun to find the time to dance too...